As I stated in my previous post, I’m not the kind of switch that can be both dominant and submissive with the same person. I am either dominant or submissive depending on the person, and I stay that way with them specifically. Casual play partners could be the exception here, but even then I’d prefer to stay in the same headspace with the same person.
When I am in a submissive headspace, I am a submissive. I don’t feel like a switch when I’m submitting. I feel like, and am, a full blown sub for that moment in time. I feel like I could call myself an “eclectic sub” because I feel my submissive personality falls into several categories.
My main submissive role is Little Girl. I am definitely a little. Cg/l is how I found BDSM. I don’t believe in calling it age regression, because that is a medical term and not a kink term. I like age play. My “Little Age” can be between 0-6 years old, but It’s usually between 2 and 4. Little space relieves a lot of my anxiety, which is a huge feat. In little space I like to be cuddly, needy, cute, adorable, playful, silly, and occasionally a little bratty. Also in little space, I like to make slime, wear diapers, play with toys, suck on my pacifier, drink from my sippy cup or bottle, and just be loved on. I am a “sexual little” and call people mommy or daddy during sex sometimes.
I also feel that I have parts and pieces of a service sub, Pet, slave, and rope bunny within my submission. I don’t want my kinky life to be all rainbows and butterflies (not to say that all cg/l relationships are soft and cuddly). I want black leather, make me cry, let-me-suffer-for-you submission too.
Why am I submissive?
I have a really hard time doing things for myself. I’ll treat myself no problem, but when it comes to taking care of myself and my life business, I just suck at it. One time a counselor recommended making rules for myself and making a punishment or reward for it. He also suggested having a friend hold me accountable for following through with my rules. I succeeded with flying colors. Once I figured out about rules in d/s relationships I realized I could incorporate the same technique from my counselor in my relationships. This plus many other structural aspects of BDSM make my life so much more functional. Not having to make choices for a period of time relieves my anxiety and allows me, a control freak from Hell, to let go.
Submission is awesome! Stay tuned to hear about my dominant side! 😊